And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
