Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Randomize
