dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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