He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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