apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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