And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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