That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
