Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i barfeds in our rink
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
