i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
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If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
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You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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