I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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