I wanna bring you to show and tell
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
