ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
