The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
