Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
