Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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