I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
