Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
