I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Randomize
