Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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