I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
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he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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