"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
