Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
