was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
