who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I did not marry a roomba.
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