she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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