my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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