Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i will never coherently bang her
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Randomize
