You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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