i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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