i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
