You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
