She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
