Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize