I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I use my feet as sexual weapons
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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