I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
