when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
