it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
