how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
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don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
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You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful