so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
