Pants 0. Shit 1.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
