So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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