my mouth tastes like poor choices
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm always down for nudity.
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