im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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