I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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