So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
