Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
two words: eviction party
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
