he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
