Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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