We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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