you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You dont lie about slip and slides
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
