i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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