brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
