My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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