I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It's just like the Real World with babies
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
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