I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
