he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
