Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
