i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
