I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
