Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry uhhh_hahaha hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(858): View more from California

I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.

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(206): View more from Washington

I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.

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(785): View more from Kansas

so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!

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(201): View more from New Jersey

just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love

Fav 6 2124 832
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(937): View more from Ohio

Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.

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