come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
