I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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