id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize