Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
