I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Are we still banned from the library?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
