my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
